The Lost Art of Writing a Letter: 7 Things to Include to Make Someone’s Day
The Lost Art of Writing a Letter: 7 Things to Include to Make Someone’s Day
Writing a real letter can be good for our wellbeing, our relationships and our souls. But what should you actually write? Here are seven simple things you can include to create a letter someone will love receiving.
When was the last time you received a real letter?
Not a bill. Not an appointment reminder. Not a leaflet from an estate agent who is apparently desperate to sell your house.
An actual letter, written by someone who was thinking about you.
There is something wonderfully exciting about seeing a handwritten envelope among the usual pile of post. Before you have even opened it, you want to know who sent it and what is inside.
You recognise the handwriting. You sit down to read it. You might read it again later or keep it somewhere safe for years.
Once, letter writing was one of the main ways we stayed connected. We wrote to family, friends and people we loved. We shared news, exchanged ideas, told stories and recorded all the small details of our lives.
Then text messages arrived.
They were faster, easier and more convenient. We could contact somebody immediately without finding paper, buying a stamp or walking to a postbox.
Gradually, texting became the normal way to communicate and writing a letter began to feel like something from another time.
But convenience is not always the same as connection.
Messages are often written while we are doing three other things. We reply between appointments, while cooking dinner or as we rush out of the door. Sometimes our entire response is a heart, a thumbs up or the dependable little laughing face that has rescued many of us from having to think of something meaningful to say.
A letter asks more of us. That is precisely why it means more.
Why writing a letter feels so good
Writing a letter makes us slow down.
It gives us time to think about what we genuinely want to say without another notification appearing halfway through the sentence. It encourages us to focus on one person and one conversation instead of jumping between several things at once.
Sometimes we do not know what we think until we begin writing. Putting our experiences into words can help us gather our thoughts, reflect on how we feel and notice the small details of our own lives.
It is also a genuinely screen free activity.
Our phones now contain our work, life admin, entertainment and relationships. Even when we pick one up to do something useful, it is very easy to become distracted and find ourselves scrolling through something entirely unrelated ten minutes later.
Writing a letter gives our eyes a rest, our hands something creative to do and our minds somewhere else to go.
It draws our attention towards another person too. We remember shared experiences, think about what we appreciate about them and imagine how they might feel when our letter arrives.
Making somebody else feel loved and remembered can lift our own mood as well.
Then there is the simple pleasure of creating something physical. You can choose lovely paper, add stickers, include a photograph or draw a slightly questionable picture in the corner.
It does not need to be formal or beautifully written. It just needs to be yours.
Why receiving a letter feels different
A text message tells someone that you contacted them.
A letter tells them that you made time for them.
You chose the paper. You sat down to write. You thought about what you wanted to say, found their address, bought a stamp and posted it.
None of those steps is particularly difficult, but together they show care and intention.
A letter also says something before the envelope has even been opened:
Someone thought of me.
That feeling matters.
So much of our modern communication is instant, frequent and easily forgotten. A handwritten letter feels personal because it could only have been created by that person, for you, at that particular moment.
You can hold it. You can recognise their handwriting. You may notice where they crossed something out, changed pens or squeezed one last thought into the margin.
You can place it on the mantelpiece, tuck it inside a book or keep it in a box with other treasured things.
Years later, you might read it again and hear that person’s voice in the words.
Very few text messages are given that sort of life.
What should you write in a letter?
Perhaps one reason we no longer write many letters is that we have forgotten how.
We sit down with a blank page and feel as though we need to say something profound. We worry about our handwriting, our spelling or whether our lives are interesting enough to fill the space.
A meaningful letter does not need to be long, beautifully written or full of extraordinary news.
It simply needs to make the person reading it feel remembered, appreciated and connected to you.
Here are seven things you can include.
1. The reason you thought of them
Begin by telling the person why you wanted to write.
Perhaps you passed somewhere you used to visit together. You heard a song that reminded you of them. You found an old photograph or remembered something they once said.
Perhaps there is no particular reason at all.
You could simply write:
“I was thinking about you today and realised it had been far too long since I told you how much you mean to me.”
Knowing they appeared in your thoughts without needing to send a message first can make someone feel truly remembered.
2. A shared memory
Include a memory that belongs to the two of you.
It does not need to be a major life event. Often, the small and slightly ridiculous memories are the loveliest ones to revisit.
Write about the holiday when everything went wrong, the meal you still laugh about or the afternoon when you talked for hours and completely lost track of time.
Describe the details you remember and explain why that moment has stayed with you.
The person reading may have forgotten parts of it or remembered it differently. Either way, you are giving them a little piece of their own life back.
3. Something you appreciate about them
We often think lovely things about people without saying them aloud.
A letter gives you the opportunity to tell someone what you genuinely appreciate about them.
Try to be specific.
Rather than simply writing, “You are a lovely friend,” tell them what makes them a lovely friend.
Perhaps they remember the details other people forget. Maybe they make you laugh when everything feels difficult. They might be the person you can call without needing to pretend that everything is fine.
Tell them what they bring to your life and why it matters.
Those may be the words they return to when they need reminding of who they are.
4. A little piece of your everyday life
You do not need exciting news to write an interesting letter.
Share something from your ordinary day. Tell them what you can see from the window, what you have been reading, what made you laugh or what you attempted to cook with questionable results.
These details may feel insignificant while you are writing them, but they create a sense of closeness.
They allow somebody who is not physically with you to step into your world for a few minutes.
Letters from years ago are often treasured not because they describe extraordinary events, but because they preserve the everyday details that would otherwise have been forgotten.
5. A genuine question
A good letter should feel like the beginning of a conversation rather than a report on your own life.
Ask something you would genuinely like them to answer.
You could ask:
What has made you smile recently?
What are you looking forward to?
Is there anything you wish you had more time for?
What have you been reading, watching or listening to?
What is happening in your life that nobody has asked you about?
Thoughtful questions show that you are interested in more than exchanging basic updates. They can also give the person a helpful starting point if they decide to write back.
6. Something small to surprise them
A letter can contain more than words.
You could include a photograph, a recipe, a bookmark, a poem or a pressed flower. Add a tiny piece of artwork, some stickers or a list of songs you think they would enjoy.
You might write down a favourite quote or include a tea bag so you can both enjoy the same drink while thinking of one another.
It does not need to cost much or be particularly impressive.
The fun comes from discovering something unexpected inside the envelope and knowing it was chosen especially for you.
Just make sure anything you include is flat, light and safe to send through the post.
7. Something to leave them with
Finish your letter with a thought that will stay with them after they have folded it away.
You might tell them that you miss them, that you are proud of them or that you are grateful they are part of your life.
If they are going through a difficult time, remind them that they do not need to reply immediately. Let them know you are there without adding another obligation to their list.
You could end with:
“I hope this letter reminds you how loved you are.”
Or:
“You do not need to write back. I just wanted something lovely to arrive for you today.”
The final words of a letter often carry the most weight, so make them honest.
You do not need to write the perfect letter
You do not need beautiful handwriting, expensive stationery or an extraordinary story.
Your spelling does not need to be perfect. Your sentences do not need to sound impressive. You certainly do not need to write as though you are a character in a period drama who has received troubling news from the estate.
Write as you naturally speak.
Tell someone why you thought of them. Share a memory. Ask how they really are. Include a tiny surprise and remind them what they mean to you.
Your letter does not even need to be long.
A few honest paragraphs can mean far more than several pages written because you felt you had to fill the paper.
Perhaps it is time to bring letter writing back
Text messages are useful. They help us organise our lives and keep in touch with people in ways previous generations could never have imagined.
But perhaps letters still offer something we need.
They invite us to slow down, step away from our screens and give another person our full attention. They create space for reflection, creativity and genuine connection.
They are good for the person writing them and rather wonderful for the person receiving them.
So choose somebody.
Find a piece of paper, pick up a pen and write to them.
You do not need a special occasion.
In fact, receiving a letter for no particular reason may be the best kind of letter of all.
Miss receiving something meaningful through the post?
The Sunshine Letters was created to bring more connection, creativity and joy through our letterboxes.
Each month, subscribers receive a heartfelt letter, bespoke artwork, beautiful stationery and thoughtful creative extras, all brought together around a meaningful monthly theme.
It is a monthly invitation to step away from the screen, make a drink and enjoy something created to be held, explored and kept.
You can subscribe for yourself or send The Sunshine Letters to somebody who deserves to feel remembered.
